Day 1 in SF.

Yesterday the most wonderful thing happened, and now I may possibly get the puppy I've always wanted (= Cross your fingers for me!




My cousins and nephews are boogerfaces ^_^

Adorable.

I can honestly say this song reminds me of all the wonderful people I've spent my summer with (=

On that same note;

I've always thought that missing people was by far one of the worst feelings in the world. I don't know why. I hate attachment, but I just fall in love with people so fast. And it's like, they fill your heart. But I understand that drifting apart and what not is a natural occurrence. I just hate that feeling of emptiness when you miss someone.

Then again, it's a great ass feeling. When you miss someone you realize how much you really love them. You only really thing about the POSITIVE. We're so pessimistic, I don't understand what the point of focusing on the negative all the time is. And when you finally get to see or spend time with that person, it's this big orgasm of AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW I MISSSSSSSSSSEDDDDD YOUUUUUUUUU ^_^ Like how I am with my boyfriend kehehehe.

I shaw my brother today. Not really my brother, it's just J.Lee haha. But yeah we hung out for like two hours but I swear I love him to death sometimes. Even if he dickslapped me with bean bag alligator and farted right next to me.. twice..

I miss

you.

I understand your occupied. But you're leaving. At this rate you'll be right, and I probably will forget you. Didn't mean to replace you if that's what you think. You just haven't been around.

I'll probably keep you in mind for a while, but good luck over there (=

state of mind

unbalanced.

Why am I so damn irritable all of a sudden?

It's not like me. It's like someone pulled the soul out of my ass and replaced it with this peice of shit impatient mo'fuckah HAHAHA.

Things to keep in mind:
1. Can't keep bottling shit up
2. Stop being so STUBBORN
3. Why do I have sucha potty mouth -_- hahah

I thank God for all the people and things who seem to bring me closer to my own personal serenity again. You guys make me sho happy ^_^ bahaha.

Colorgenics = Slightly Mindfu**ing

I stole this off of my Carmeanie's blog, but it sounded interesting so I tried it. I didn't think it'd be true at all but I can guarantee you'll get a good mindfucking out of this. Haha try it (=

Name: Christianne Holly Santiago
Date: Tuesday 27th 2010f July 2010 09:35:20 PM
Colorgenics Number: 2/6/3/5/4/0/7/1/

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You are feeling exhausted, worn out, drained. You feel that far too much is being asked of you but you still want to overcome these difficulties and establish yourself despite the effect such an effort seems to have on you. You are a proud person, assertive most of the time, but at this particular moment you are acting as if you have become resigned to the situation. What you need is some tender loving care - a gentle pat on the head (or maybe a 'kick-up-the backside') and then you'll be raring to go.

You enjoy taking part in anything that may constitute fun and excitement. You need to be stimulated and need to feel that 'Life is worth living' and you are awaiting that stimulation and you don't particularly care where it comes from!

You need a friend - a close friend - and you are willing to become emotionally involved with the right person, but you are very demanding and particular in your choice of partners. You are constantly looking for reassurance and it is perhaps because of this that you tend to be somewhat argumentative, but you try to hold back - careful to avoid open conflict - since this might reduce your prospects of realising your hopes of establishing a warm caring relationship.

You are feeling really bogged down and extremely stressed. This is perhaps due to the desire for personal independence which has been evading you for some time now. An existing situation or relationship is causing you to be extremely restless and you feel that you are unable to change the situation without co-operation. You are unwilling to expose your vulnerability and therefore you consider it inadvisable to display affection or be over demonstrative. You regard this relationship as a depressing tie, but although you want to be independent and unhampered, you do not want to risk losing anything. All this leads you to react touchily and with impatience, while the urge to get away results in considerable restlessness: your ability to concentrate may suffer.

The stress that you are experiencing at this time is due to the present situation - a situation of your own making. But trying to ignore it, hoping that it will go away, will only aggravate it further. What you need to do is to slow down - to relax and re-think the situation and by going slow, you may be amazed to find that most of your problems will resolve themselves.

What If We Dated?!

HAHAHAHA. This post is dedicated to my best friend, Kevin Patrick Esguerra<3 You asked me earlier "AYE WHAT IF WE DATED?!" So there explains the title(x So Kevin, I write this post as I talk to you on the phone July 27 1:22 AM. Pretty damn late, but I remember when I met you last summer, we were probably in this same situation all ITCHY and TIRED but still on the phone with eachother. Haha.

I'd have to say, this summer really has kind proved our bestfriendship. I'm sincerely sorry we've somehow drifted, but at the same time we passed our test don't you agree? We can never really truly drift because 1. STREAK NEVER ENDS and 2. It's just physically and internally impossible.

Hearing you right now just made me so much happier(= I called, and told you about my shitty ass day. But towards the end it slowly mended itself back together. (AND BY THE WAY. YOU JUST ASKED ME "HAVE YOU EVER MASTERBATED BEFORE BEST FRIEND?...IDK I JUST WANTED TO ASK..) HAHAH WHAT THE TITTIES?! but anyways, thanks for always being there. For all my heartbreaks, for all my tears, for your favorite jacket that I forgot at my friend's house hahahha.

By the way, I'm glad your happy :) But, you can't replace me! (you know!) HAHAHAHA. i love you best friend k bye<3

Moments of Doubt

Kay, so you have those moments where you're like "Alright I'ma do this, I got this... KAY NEVER MIND"
-_______________-

If anything, I wanna shove those moments up the nearest person's butt and hope it never comes out. Sorry to whoever that person is.

It's been lately that I've realized, what if I let those moments overpower me every single time I have them?

ex. 1: I was doing so terrible in my US History class. I swear I felt like the dumbest little nut alive. I don't know what kept me in that class, 3 kids already dropped out. I knew I'd have a chill ass summer and I'd be able to sleep in every day. But something inside me had me convinced that I'd regret it. Yeah, I had a D till the last week of first semester, but I raised that shit up two letter grades before the week was over. I had the support of my boys who so nicely encouraged me to stay, but it was the fact that I blocked out all the negative shit, all the "YOU CAN'T"s and what not.

ex. 2: So one of my friends proposed an idea to go to Top of the World (veiw) and wait there 'till sunrise. Yeah, being me, I impulsively just say yes. It sounded like a fun idea even though I didn't know how the eff I was going to convince my mother to let me out of the house that early/late. One Friday I decided I had to do it, I'd just walk out the side of my house and GTFO. Of course I thought it through morally, and I felt bad for a split second. But then I remembered that I'm not an old lady, I'm only 15 and life was made to be lived to it's fullest. We were supposed to take risks even though it may end in mishap; can't expect everything to go according to plan. I'd have to say going ninja status and being nervous out of my mind, was completely worth it. I remember saying that night that I finally felt "at peace with myself"...

I know it all sounds a bit cliche, but take it into consideration. These are only two recent examples, and every time I hesitate to do something I always think of times like these. It doesn't really matter what it is. If it's something you've never tried, some place you've never gone to, or someone you like, get the stick out of your ass that's stopping you and go for it (=